Couple therapy is an umbrella term that encompasses different types of therapy that are employed to help couples build respectful and loving relationships with one another. It also helps them develop new ways of interacting with their partner, new ways of communicating with their partner, new ways of resolving disagreements and conflict. In essence, it helps them improve the quality of their relationship with one another.
In order to do this, the therapist follows a specific set of rules and principles that help guide them through session after session until they have helped both partners achieve what they want from their relationship — whether it’s trust, intimacy, more effective communication, or different forms of behavior between each other.
Consultative Conversations helps a couple achieve this by following a specific set of rules that the therapist asks both partners to abide by. These include things like:
1) Questions are encouraged (both the questions coming from the therapist and those coming from the couple). Asking questions encourages active listening, which is crucial for effective communication between couples. It also allows each partner to express their opinions and desires, which is necessary for the therapist to help them.
2) Each partner must make eye contact with their partner while talking. This helps maintain active listening on both sides and encourages an open dialogue between each other.
3) Each partner must try to avoid arguments or disagreements during the session. They must wait until after the session to do so. This helps maintain a positive and constructive atmosphere during the session and avoid any negativity that may harm their relationship, both now and later on.
4) Each partner must not interrupt each other when it’s their turn to speak. They can ask for clarification if they need it, but they shouldn’t talk over their partner’s story. This is very important for understanding what each person is saying and ensuring that both partners are heard before the therapist forms their opinion on the situation.
5) Each partner must tell “their side of the story.” They must not be biased or purposely misrepresent things, but they must avoid exaggerating, denying, or minimizing what has transpired. The therapist will only be able to help them if both sides are presented in a constructive manner.
The rules may vary from couple to couple and therapist to therapist. Still, there should always be some variation of these rules that the couple adheres to during their consultative conversations session for the therapist to help them as best as they possibly can.
